Waxing Poetic/Waxing Pathetic

This is my Christmas present to myself, because at least I don't have to fumble around with tape, wrapping paper and a ribbon, only to give up after an hour, wasting half the roll of wrapping paper on failed attempts.  Plus I would have to try to find a box that would fit. I suppose if you fanatically follow this blog (tragedy of the year, right here) you might enjoy it as well.

I spent about 20 minutes figuring out where to file this, whether this should be something I revisit occasionally, but I suppose this may just be a once-in-a-lifetime thing. It isn't exactly easy for me to find inspiration for the topic I wish to address, probably because I don't do much valuable thinking even when I stare contemplatively out a window.

What follows below may be completely true, entirely fiction, or a mix of something in between. What a tease! How you wish to interpret that is up to you, but I have to let you know, I feel extremely relieved this will likely never be analyzed to death (like we all are taught to do in academia) by anyone. Eschewing details is one of my specialties it seems, so another complication for the imaginary reader - am I being vague on purpose, or is it simply that I have absolutely no relation to the material that I can only to paint broad strokes? Well, they do it on GLEE all the time and millions of people watch and enjoy it, so it's not an impossible dream, now is it? Or maybe, for all your psych majors, you could say I have yet to confront these thoughts I have in my head and that I need to pay you hourly to tell you I'm crazy. Sorry, but I already know I'm crazy.

Monday morning's microsleep misadventures, OR, The plot to Inception 2

You might ask "Hey wait, didn't you have a ton of work due last Tuesday?" And the answer was yes. BUT, I thought it was important enough to take a nap between classes before getting some work done. Also, general laziness.

And you know what? It was totally worth it. Because I had such an amazingly weird dream that I just thought I had to share with everyone! (read: noone). And, like any other good crazy person, as soon as I woke up I wrote it down to make sure it didn't get tainted by the passage of time. So what you (read: noone, really) will read in the following paragraphs is a retelling of this pure, raw, unadulterated dream. It was pretty awesome, I must admit.

Roll up your sleeves and show off your tattoo, or I just don't understand people

Maybe it's just me, but my face began to convulse and form an expression resembling confusion as I watched someone leave the subway train, and for no inexplicable reason roll up his sleeves, blatantly showing off the tattoos on his arms. They didn't even look that good. I've seen better graffiti by my old elementary school. It really just seemed like his morning routine was: wake up, brush teeth, draw fake tattoos onto arms with Shaprie. Hey, if you don't believe me, here's a (rough) transcript of the conversation I was having. With myself:

Me to self: Oh man, it's too early, why am I only half awake this morning? I ate breakfast and everything ... say, why is that guy over there rolling up his sleeves?

Self to me: It looks like he's showing off his tattoos. But it's 8 in the morning, what would possess someone to do such a thing?

Me to self: They don't even look real, maybe I should tell him.

Self to me: Are you kidding? That guy is first of all, taller than you, and I'm pretty sure the size of your arms are the the size of his arm bones. Don't get us beat up saying something stupid.

Me to self: Fine.

The Girl with the Saliva-Soaked Wristband

Excuse me while I borrow a clichéd phrase, but it was like watching a train wreck. In slow motion. And the someone rewound the video and then made you watch it again once in slow motion then again at 16x speed. And then they turned on the commentary track and had the director describe how they used real human limbs in the scene. Oh, and then a Russian mobster caves your skull in with a baseball bat.

Did I go overboard again?

And now time for my triumphant return! (Or is it a reboot?)

Okay, so the first question you (in most cases myself, re-reading this) might have is, "What the hell? After so long?" Yes, after my last post in December 2007, I'm back! (Possibly with a vengeance; I haven't decided yet). After much goading from my inner voice (that never shuts up) and also the fact that I have no real outlet to express ... things anywhere else, this was an ideal time for my return. That means it's time to dust off the cupboards (that serve no real purpose, the doors don't even work!) and get back to typing about whatever thoughts that decide to squat in my mind. Unless it was a song I heard on the radio. Because I can google that stuff. I'm not stupid. Enough.