The Masked Maverick's Day Off (a short story)

Written as an entry in the NeoGAF Creative Writing Challenge #89.

After Happily Ever After (a short story)

Written as an entry for the NeoGAF Creative Writing Challenge, #86

Witness Protection (a short story)

Written as an entry for the NeoGAF Creative Writing Challenge, #85.

A look back at 9/11/2001 (Has it really been 10 years?)

It feels weird to be here at ten years after the event. I hate to call it a special occasion or some important moment, but that is what it is. To be frank, I don't wish to talk about the grandiose or the political; just how much I think the world has changed or if I think "the terrorists won". But I do think it is important to look back and attempt to make sense of what happened that day, because I certainly did not foresee anything or really had any clue of the bigger picture.

Extreme experiments in eccentricity (alternatively: Awesome alliteration action!)

Now here's a blast from your high school past: alliteration! Sure, you may have thought it was just some dusty old poetic device, but I'm here to tell you it could be better than that (and if you forgot, take that minute to use the Internet to remind you).

Everything is better with alliteration! (Though I have yet to make that phrase into a nice alliteration)

It's going to come back in a big way, though certainly not because of me, because I don't command the attention of more than five people on the Internet (if your Googling adventures brought you here then I'm sorry, but you are now trapped; also, what in the world were you Googling anyways?). But here I am, getting the first foot in on a worldwide phenomenon, coming soon.

"Why, Kelvin?", you may ask, or even, "Did you get punched in the face by a passing cyclist?"

I have yet to be punched in the face by a passing cyclist (though I'm certain that day is coming) if that answers anything. As for why? Well, I simply woke up one day and decided to. Really.

Alliteration makes things sound much more interesting than they normally would, or at the very least make you sound smarter than you should be. One more step up that ivory tower! Let's conjure up some examples, shall we?

• Friends-with-benefits? More like carnal companions.
• A rather large and bothersome flightless bird? Why not say it's an obnoxious ostrich instead?
• They were K-I-S-S-I-N-G where? In a tree? Maybe you meant in Helen and Humphrey's hidey-hole!

Now I could go on forever, but you can't be excited for that long (it would actually kill you, and we wouldn't want that now, would we?). That, plus I forgot to write all the good ones I ad libbed weeks in advance for writing this or, perhaps at times they take a bit of premeditation and preparation to position them properly for proper potency (and I had twenty different titles for this entry too!). Or the first excuse. We wouldn't want you all dead on account of all my amazing alliterations!

No we wouldn't.

How I put the moves on the girl of my dreams, OR, why you shouldn't cut the circulation off to your brain

I don't think I've ever mentioned it enough but I am really thankful that the Internet exists so I can post the most inane, pointless crap that comes to mind for an audience of (at least) one and less than two. (Hint: that would mean me. Note: stop using the same joke over and over again.) There are more important things going on in the world, but I've decided that on this little plot of internet-land that I'm going to do nothing important with it.

I have been sitting on this for quite a while. Over a month, in fact. I like to entertain myself by constantly making up excuses to be busy. I even get studying done because I'd rather use that to procrastinate with. But that's not the point because it's ...

Crazy dream time! Again!

Waxing Poetic/Waxing Pathetic

This is my Christmas present to myself, because at least I don't have to fumble around with tape, wrapping paper and a ribbon, only to give up after an hour, wasting half the roll of wrapping paper on failed attempts.  Plus I would have to try to find a box that would fit. I suppose if you fanatically follow this blog (tragedy of the year, right here) you might enjoy it as well.

I spent about 20 minutes figuring out where to file this, whether this should be something I revisit occasionally, but I suppose this may just be a once-in-a-lifetime thing. It isn't exactly easy for me to find inspiration for the topic I wish to address, probably because I don't do much valuable thinking even when I stare contemplatively out a window.

What follows below may be completely true, entirely fiction, or a mix of something in between. What a tease! How you wish to interpret that is up to you, but I have to let you know, I feel extremely relieved this will likely never be analyzed to death (like we all are taught to do in academia) by anyone. Eschewing details is one of my specialties it seems, so another complication for the imaginary reader - am I being vague on purpose, or is it simply that I have absolutely no relation to the material that I can only to paint broad strokes? Well, they do it on GLEE all the time and millions of people watch and enjoy it, so it's not an impossible dream, now is it? Or maybe, for all your psych majors, you could say I have yet to confront these thoughts I have in my head and that I need to pay you hourly to tell you I'm crazy. Sorry, but I already know I'm crazy.